InfoMaize - Food for Thought
Scientists funded by the Ministry of Culture and private foundations have released a report showing what they claim is irrefutable evidence that information content can be extracted from media entering the digestive system. Before and after tests have shown that in a high proportion of subjects, portions of the ingested knowledge were stored directly in the brain that were not present before they were consumed.
The report further reveals the manufacturing process which entails encoding of the content on small, flat doughnut shapes in spiral patterns which are then stamped into a substrate of corn starch mixed with nutrients, coated with a layer of sweeteners, artificial flavors and food dyes and mass produced. Dr. Hiro Shimura and Dr. Suh Osari of Tokyo College were quoted in the morning edition of the major Japanese evening newspaper, the Daily Yumitumi. They reported that the breakthrough in content absorbtion rates came after they hit upon a formula for their media, which they have named InfoMaize ™, that was chewed long enough to be activated by enzymes in the saliva. When asked how they achieved that, they stated it was because the corn substrate stayed crispy, even in milk.
The pair plan to make a joint presentation before the United Nations’ Council On Redeveloping Nations next spring after comparing their results with those of a parallel group working in the south of France for many years. InfoChevre(tm) was the brainchild, so to speak, of a group of monks working in the French Alps on acquiring content from cheese made from the milk of goats who had been fed tasteful books, videotapes, and audio recordings. The two groups plan to test whether content retention is improved when the two foods are combined to form a complete protein.
In a statement protesting the funding of the InfoMaize - Food for Thought ™ development with public funds, Harry Shapiro, president of the Consumers Electronic Association commented, “This is an obvious attempt of the content industry to payback consumer electronics manufacturers for putting cheap DVD writers on the market. They think if they bypass the media player manufacturers, they will be able to control intellectual property once and for all, but everyone knows the minds and hearts of the consumer are, have always been, and forever will be totally out of control. We’re banking on that. We’ve beaten back the attempt of the telecommunications companies to promote thin clients. We’ve turned the razor/razor blade model on it’s ear. We’ve kept the Chinese from creating non-standard media again and again. No one can get around us! No one can reduce us to packaging cereal!!! Ahem. We look forward to working together with our content partners in the future.”
posted by julia b schwerin